Stat...

I don't understand why medical professionals say "stat".  I have a friend who is a Dr.  We are well overdue for a chat so probably I'm not going to take up our talk time with that query but we'll see.  But why don't they say ASAP!?  I always think of statistics when I see or hear "stat".  Which, I really don't want to think about statistics when it comes to the venue of a hospital.  Mostly you hear about the bad statistics.  Not many people talk about the healing stats at a hospital.  Or the stats of how many people DIDN'T come home with something extra from their surgery - like forceps or a sponge.  Or how many satisfied patients would recommend the food they were served.  So, to sum up, stat makes me think of statistics and when hearing it in a medical setting it makes me think of you know - bad things that happen and the way they keep track and convey the bad stuff that happened.

I'm falling apart.  I'm only 39 years old.  I don't feel 39.  I don't think I look 39.  I could be wrong.  Maybe I look 50.  Which I'm conflicted about that possibility.  Because, have you seen 50 lately?  50 looks great!  And shoot, my mom is 61.  She looks fantastic.  Remember when 50 and 60 looked all old and crumbly?  It doesn't look that way anymore.  And not just because I'm closing in on it.  And not because of surgery and botox and the like.  Maybe the universe caught onto the fact that we are living longer and since 50 is getting closer and closer to middle age, we can start looking like we are in the middle of our lives rather than looking like we are rattling around the earth waiting for gravity to take us down and then we wouldn't have that handy medic alert thing that would call for help where we could cry out, "I've fallen and I can't get up!".  Anywho.  50 looks good.  But I'm not ready to look like a 50 year old when I haven't even finished cutting my teeth on the end of my thirties.  I think we all know my stance on exercise.  Apparently, that exercise stuff is good for your heart.  And good for your stamina which probably means that I could go from basement to second story without feeling like my legs are turning to hot jello.  And good for osteopenia, which I have, which is the precursor to osteoporosis, which many of my womanly ancestors have had. I'm the biggest of the maternal girly familial bunch.  I'm 5'4" on a generous day.  My mom, despite every protest she throws to the contrary, is shorter than me.  Her mother was shorter than she.  And my grandmother's mother, dear Granny Grace, was so teeny you could carry her around in your pocket.  She wasn't.  But you wanted to.  I'm high risk for that osteopenia turning into osteoporosis.  Which is why I eschew exercise and eat as much Halloween candy as I want.  Because, friends, carrying around extra pounds is a weight bearing exercise.  (That's actually true.)  I'm doing my body the favor of building up the strength of my bones with slight back fat made out of m&ms.  And a muffin top truly made from muffins.

On top of all that, the corrective stuff that I have had done is starting to fail.  I got lasik done about 6 years ago and it is by far the best contribution towards the pile of debt that we have ever.  Except for our wedding.  That was awesome!!!  People still talk about our food.  Anywho.  About my eyeballs.  I got them corrected and it was so nice.  But about 6 - 9 months ago, my lasik just up and expired on me.  It happens rarely - I just get to be that lucky.  So, now I'm wearing glasses again.  And it is chaffing me.  I wore glasses all through high school.  I wore glasses and contacts for all those years after high school until I got the lasik so that I could stop wearing corrective vision devices.  And here I am again. And it's been okay.  I found this website where you can get SUPER cheap glasses.  But they have really been starting to get to me.  As much as I joke about the pudge and the sloth, the way I look does get to me.  And for me, personally, to feel my mostest pretty is to not wear glasses.  I'm not trying to offend anyone - there are people who sport them and are knock-outs.  I just think that confidence tends to truly be the most gorgeous feature a person can have and I feel closest to the possibility of even thinking of being confident if I don't have glasses on.  So, I have been gearing up to get the follow-up surgery.  The bummer is that it won't be the same surgery.  And the revise is one eye at a time with longer recuperation time.  So, I sit around wondering if I have to pull off an eye patch while I'm waiting for the one eye to fix.  Which would have been cool if it would have occurred to me to hurry up and get it done so that I could work that during Halloween.  But, it didn't occur to me and with all the other big life stuff going on, it's been tough to schedule a procedure that I'm nervous about getting done in the first place.  I told you that I'm gearing up for Unbound.  On top of that, I have a cracked tooth that needs a crown.  Correction.  I had a cracked tooth that needed a crown.  Today, my new situation is that I likely have a broken in half tooth that needs extraction.  The dentist is going to tell me that I should just get a root canal or whatever but I'm just gonna have them pull it.  Which kind of sucks.  Of all the characteristics that I own, my teeth are actually pretty good.  They could stand to be whiter and a bit cleaner but over all, they are pretty.  I thank my pops for that business.  I was looking forward to a full set for the duration.  But I cracked one tooth on a taquito one day and that turned into all kinds of abscess and root canal that failed and finally extraction.  And when you see me smile, it's a secret.  No one knows unless I stick my tongue out it.  But I generally try not to look like a hillbilly so I don't do that too often.  So.  The exact same tooth on the opposite side started giving me some issues and it turned out to have a crack.  And I have needed to schedule THAT appointment to have a crown done but with all the other big life stuff going on, it's been tough to schedule a procedure that I'm nervous about.   Vuja De.  So, today, life made some decisions for me.  Because in the immortal words of Getty Lee - "When you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice".  Ah, Rush....  I was sitting there, minding my own business, eating my lunch.  Yogurt.  Corned Beef that isn't really corned beef but is a lunch meat flavored like corned beef and all pressed up and circular.  Apple slices.  Pringles multi-grain chips (are you kidding me with those???  They are fantastic!!! 9 out of 10 Jenny's jewels on that deliciousness).  Sargento low-fat Colby cheese stick.  And carrots.  Does this seem like a meal that could be to the detriment of my teeth??  I think not!  But I'm crunching out on my carrot and something that feels akin to a pebble pierces the middle of my tooth.  I see stars and fish the culprit out of my mouth.  And you know what it was?  Carrot!!!  I chomped it just right (why do people say that?  "Just right" when really, something went horribly wrong as a result.  Like - I hit is just right and it came out of the joint and just dangled like that...) that now I can't drink luke warm tap water without a straw because I can feel the pain two teeth over in either direction.  And so, I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:30 to address the situation which really feels a little like a waste of a co-payment because they already told me that they are booked up and can't fix it but will look at it and do something temporary.  If by temporary they mean pain-killers and cotton, whatever.  So long as the pain killers are involved.  Because this is not a terribly comfortable situation that I find myself in presently.

And the kicker is that I was actually having a productive day.  I'm amazed at what I can accomplish when I'm not sitting in front of the computer!  I cleaned the kitchen - twice!  I ran two loads of laundry.  I started organizing coupons.  Again.  I took about the most amazing shower - I needed that shower.  Big time.  I fed people and got people dressed and got people out the door and I ate and it was just sort of gelling again today.  It's like I backed up the ia to inert and started mooooovin'.  And then CRACK!  Stupid tooth.  Stupid carrot.  AND I can't even count this as my new thing today because I have cracked a tooth before.  For the love.

I watched some new children's programming but it wasn't great and I wasn't even interested enough to watch enough to form an opinion or rating for you.  Oh!  Here is a new thing I did today.  I had to run outside get some stuff out of Hub's car so that he could take a couple of kids to school.  Prior to running out there, Big Stuff (aka Skunk), handed me a cape so that I could be Batgirl.  I had run upstairs so I could stick my feet in some shoes to go outside to the car which was across the street from about 5 dudes wearing yellow reflective vests who are on my street to cause me much aggravation by parking their work vehicles in front of my driveway just before I have to leave to go somewhere.  I think they are from the gas company but somehow, they work with gas lines, breaking up concrete and yards, installing gas pumps, pouring concrete, spreading hay on everyone else's broken yard but ours, etc.  I just thought that these jobs were more specialized by unions so that as many people could get in on that action as possible rather than one pool of 5 guys who watch one guy doing all those jobs himself.  Anywho.  I get out to the car and realize what I'm wearing.  I'm wearing cheetah print pajama bottoms.  A neon pink scrapbooking t-shirt.  A batman cape.  And my sweet slip on birkenstock clogs that are multi-colored stripes.  And you know what I did?  I didn't run upstairs to get a little more co-ordinated.  Which I would have done in a previous life, and have in fact done in this one, not so long ago.  What I did do was make Hubs take a picture of me.  It was so quintessential morning mom that I just embraced it for what it was.  Plus, it's going to make a killer scrapbook page.  7.8 out of 10 Jenny's jewels.  The outfit was atrocious but the experience was hilarious. 

Wish me luck tomorrow.  I'm at the tale end of two major obligations I have going on and I really, really can't afford to have catastrophic events waylaying my mojo.  I need a new tooth situation.  Stat.  I gotta go now.  I have to brush my teeth but good since there's gonna be people inside my mouth tomorrow.