I don't know if you have noticed, but my views have bumped up over 1,000. I'd be all impressed with myself if I could discern with any kind of certainty how many of those views were me. I have this weird habit of revisiting my posts. We will call it perpetual proof-reading so that I don't look so vain. And then we will politely ignore the fact that there are still solid typos within any given post. Although, I left the word as tattle tales rather than tattle tells. I think they both work equally effectively.
I tried an experiment today. I would try to improve my posture when it occurred to me. It was awkward and slightly uncomfortable. Because despite all their best efforts, let's face it, we all pretty much blew off the plea to stand up straight from our parents. We are a schlumpy bunch, we the general population. I am a good 5'3" - 5'4" on my best day. I have begun to suspect that I am, in fact 5 feet 9 inches tall which is super exciting because then, this weight changes in all kinds of ways! But over the years I have developed a non-scoliosis type curvature of the spine that has shrunk me up into a delicious bite-size portion. Isn't it funny how fake it feels to stand up straight? It was for me. I felt like I was trying to pretend that my chest was generous and uppity. And that I was constantly trying to suck in my guts. Which I could stand to do most any time of day but it feels like a lie. Like padded push-up bras or horrible horrible comb-overs. And also, it was a strain on my back to walk around like I had a stick up my patoot. And, finally, as you can see, there is some awful stigma attached to all the time trying to present ourselves at a confident best. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out where and how the pros measure up against the cons. Is it possible that after a certain point it's simply counter-productive to start standing up straight? 4 out of 10 Jenny's jewels. Those in the medical industry are encouraged to chime in with their thoughts.
I have a friend who I like to call Krazy Mountain Killah. I came up with that nick-name after she climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. That's right. THAT Mt. Kilimanjaro. She used to be a flight attendant. She has taken mission trips to Mamelodi, South Africa and Nicaragua. How fun is that word? Especially if you take your time to roll the r and the g around. I consider myself worldly but she might be otherworldly. Anywho. She is tall and blond and beautiful and has awesome teeth and is in great shape. It would be so easy to, you know, hate her. But she is an amazing amazing person. So, you don't get to hate her - me neither. I noticed that she facebooked about a Mt. Everest trip in the next 2-3 years. Mt. Everest. I mean, why not?? It's what all the kids are doing these days. Crazy kids. She's pretty in love with God and I'm thinking she's just looking for the uppermost portion of the world so she can high-five him or something. Might as well take some Sherpas and a yak or two if you are going to roll that way. I totally wouldn't put it past her.
It's bed-time. Not for me. For the kids. And since I'm flying solo, I get the great joy of taking a break just now and fighting and screaming and drill sargenting the kids into their beds. Be right to the back.
Hooo boy. That was SO much fun. There are those that say it is difficult to detect tone in email and general cyberspace situations. Should that be your problem right now, not really trusting that you are picking up what I'm putting down, I am being 1,000 percent sarcastic. But we aren't going to get into all that just right now. We will simply move on.
I, wait for it... went shopping today. We needed groceries. And batteries. And the new policy at Kroger is - we must have a mega-event every week. Some of them have been better than others. This one is decent enough. I got cookie mix for .29. Which I will NOT be adding any salt too. And they paid me to take some tuna fish home. While I was there, I picked out some lunch. Healthy Choice and I have been friends off and on for many many years. And we are BFFs whenever I can get it for 89 cents. I tried the new Rosemary chicken and sweet potatoes. It was pretty good. I give it 6 out of 10 Jenny's jewels. It was 170 calories! I was starving and didn't have enough time to savor the flavors, to discern the nuances. I did follow that up with another new thing. I love Greek yogurt. You give me some Greek Gods honey flavored Greek yogurt and you are in like Flynn. I don't know a Flynn and if I did meet one, I have rigorous tests and trials for he or she to go through to be in. But that is all beside the point. If you gave me raspberries to mix in with said Greek Gods yogurt... Oh My Goodness. That's just all goodness all the time. 10 out of 10 Jenny's jewels. The only reason I would have to mark it down is the price. Which really, it's silly. Per ounce it's as good if not better than the other brands. Sometimes it's just hard to shell it all out at one time. I often try other brands just to try to supplement and to see if there is a viable, more affordable substitute. So far, no luck. So today, I happened upon Atheno's Greek yogurt. I had never seen it before. It's made by fine people who make a fine hummus. It was 10/$10. Also, it had a divided container. The yogurt was on one side and the honey was all liquidy and at the ready on the other side. I was intrigued. And as it had only 160 calories to add to my lunch numbers, it fit in nicely. Until I tried it. I realize that it's plain yogurt that you mix the bee spit into. But I have had other plain Greek yogurts before. I will say that somehow, once again, Greek Gods does it right. For all the other national brands, there is this weird chalky aftertaste. Imagine if Mylanta had no flavor at all - no cherry, no mint. That's what I imagine this tastes like. There wasn't enough honey to make up for it. Not at all. It's a no for me. 0 out of 10 Jenny's jewels. Is that a first for me? Cool! And you were there for it! I did supplement those responsible calories with some Tiger Butter. Take some white chocolate - bar or chip form - whatever, about 11ish oz and put in about 3/4 peanut butter. Nuke that for 2-2 1/2 minutes until it's nice and liquid in form. Pour that into a waiting pan lined with wax paper. Spread it around. Next take 2 cups chocolate chips and nuke those to the same fine liquid form. Pour that on top of the peanut butter stuff and swirl real pretty with a knife. Which totally matters when you are mindlessly breaking off one chunk after another because it's serious dang good. So good that I bumped that 360 calorie lunch up by prolly another 800. And kind of didn't care. 9 out of 10 Jenny's jewels.
I'm going to leave you with one final new thing. Which is actually two new things in one. I came across a little treat that I bought at a fair trade fair. It's fair trade chocolate. Specifically Divine 70 percent Dark Chocolate Covered Salted Fudge. Salted fudge? Yeah baby! So with Hubs out of town, (ease up potential stalkers, by the time that you are reading this, he's on the way back home) I tore into them. Y'all. I'm so disappointed. I'm trying so hard to stay the course and buy slave-free, fair trade chocolate but it simply has to be worth the price. It has to be delicious. I can't believe that I'm saying this but I'm throwing it out. I tried so hard to like. I tried so hard to stay the course and finish it. I couldn't. It's going to have to have a 2 out of 10 Jenny's jewels. This is sincerely a problem because my addiction to chocolate is true and my deepest hopes to end slavery are also true. I don't mean to make light. I really don't. I gotta figure that out.
In the mean time, I will attend to the final episode of the evening of my present all-consuming addiction. Come on. Do I have to even say it? How many times has Veronica Mars made my blog at this point? Whatever. It makes me happy. It lifts my spirits at the end of a long day. You know, when Hubs ain't around.
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