Blimey, it's been a while...

Well Alright!  I'm back from all kinds of eating and, well, eating.  I devoured that round of fudge and made another and that's almost gone.  It's okay.  I rescheduled the family picture until January so I will have some additional time to eat the fudge and beat the pudge.  I just made that up.  It should be a slogan.  And do you know why?  Get this.  I took the already perfect Fantasy Fudge recipe (found on the back of any Kraft marshmallow fluff stuff) and at the very end, just before I poured it into my buttered pan (that's another big fat taste enhancer), I folded in an undetermined bit of coarse kosher salt.  It's undetermined because I put some in the palm of my hand, poured that in and folded.  And I didn't feel satisfied by that so I did it again.  Probably Rachel Ray would estimate that as 2 Tablespoons.  Don't get scared.  Salted Caramel is all the rage.  This is salted fudge.  And what I mean to tell you is that it's ridiculous.  You get this spark of salt while you are almost about to overdose on the sweet.  It's total OMG material.  Probably that's the wrong direction to go in when hoping to look good for  family pictures and just to look and feel better in general.  Don't blame me.  Blame that first lady who baked goods for the purposes of celebrating winter and Christmas and all the magic that comes with freezing your butt off while shopping til you drop.  Blame her.  I am merely one of the lemmings following her legacy around.  And this lemming accomplished something unthinkable.  Are you ready for it?  11 out of 10 Jenny's jewels.  Oh.  I mean it.

So, how was Thanksgiving?  I had a total miss when I was relaying just how blah I am in general about the great Turkey holiday.  You know what I forgot?  It's not just about some people landing on and infringing upon the land of the Native American/Indigenous folks.  It's about why they came here.  They came here so that I can have a blog and talk about how awesome I think God is.  And so that you can disagree with me (even if I'm right and you are wrong).  They came here so that I can go to church - to the church of my choosing.  So that you can choose not to go to church at all.  There are people on this planet who die because they know that Jesus rocks the house.  They die for having a bible.  Others die because of strict rules within their own religion and demanding that the followers act as tattle tales - ratting out people who do not follow the letter of their law and those people die - for hugging a woman who is not their wife or for denouncing their religion or ... other stuff.  I am humbled by this.  On Thanksgiving, I truly was so thankful that I was just born in the right country and so thankful for the people who left England and said they wanted to avoid religious persecution and rule.  But I am confused about where the English accent went.  I love English accents.  It's so hard to sound dumb with a British accent.  It's the one thing I do wish we had retained.  And double decker buses.  Those are cool.  And words like lift, chunnel, tube, bloody, and... others.  Our dinner was lovely.  Except the part where the kids hated most of it.  And all that stuffing I told you I got?  Yeah.  We didn't have any stuffing at all.  But I did make my own cranberry sauce  and it was the bomb - 8 out of 10 Jenny's jewels.  Just a touch more sugar and orange flavor next time.  And also I made a sweet potato casserole type situation.  I didn't like it much.  It needed more sugar and less egg.  It was like it was confused about being a souffle or a casserole.  But the crunchy bit on top was good.  Hubs liked it.  He's a good sport.  As for me, I'm gonna give it 5 out of 10 Jenny's jewels - the crunchiness on top earns it about 1.5-2 jewels on it own.  It was aight.  And there were no guests.  It kept slipping my mind to contact anyone and I think that the brain just does that sometimes - it wipes out information to protect us or take care of us when we are too stubborn to do it ourselves.  And also, my brain seemed to be privy to the fact that my kids were going to act like total lunatics that day so it's best not to have anyone around to see all our ugly bits.  You know - the kids going bonkers and being all belligerent and our stellar reactions to those situations.  Good public viewing material,that.  See.  I can talk like a Brit.

I'm on my last two episodes of the first season of Veronica Mars.  Which is delicious because I still have 3 seasons left to go.  Oh.  It has not let me down, not even once.  It's the writing I tell ya.  It's the same reason why I adored Cupid back in the late '90s (the one that starred Jeremy Piven).  It's why I loved Gilmore Girls.  It's why I loved The Shield and The Wire and why I love Dexter and Entourage and Glee and House.  You give me smart writing and I'm loyal for life.  You start getting lazy and cutting corners - getting predictable and hackneyed - you are out.   

Okay.  Today is a new day.  I started all of the above last night and didn't get finished.  So, here is what happened today. 

I got a burr up my butt and decided to do some exercising.  I'm a big fan of Crunch CardioNetflix and me and Marie got to it.  Our living room is about the size of a postage stamp.  And over the weekend we put up the Christmas tree and lost a lot of surface area.  It's not easy doing a work-out "video" that requires room to move in our living room under the best of circumstances.  While the tree was a challenge, I was making it work.  The mitigating factor was, wait for it... children.  They were all up in my business and despite my insisting that they move, they very much thought that meant move to another portion of my microscopic exercise arena.  So, I lost it, as I'm so prone to do, and told them to go to another room.  I think my exact words were "GET OUT!!!  Get out get out get out!".  Princess was running out in her stocking feet and slipped and hurt her knees and cried and I was all up in the high heart beat zone and had to stop and check boo-boos.  It was all over then.  I could have given up.  I'm kind of known for it, actually.  But I didn't.  I turned off the work-out and went downstairs to the elliptical.  I watched an episode of Veronica Mars while I ellipticaled (ellipticated?).  And that was wicked effective.  I have roughly 60 episodes left until the end of the series.  I'm sure to blast my butt in no time.  Or at least 60-120 days depending on the frequency with which I am able to force myself down there.  And hopefully my guts will take a hit as well because Justin Timberlake brought sexy back but no one seems compelled to bring front butt back.  And I have a choice - bring it back myself or take myself out of the position to be able to.  I'll let you know how that goes.  It's a new gig for me.  Accomplishment - work out = reward - Veronica Mars time.  I'm stoked.  For now.  Today gets a 10 out of 10 Jenny's jewels.  I know.  I can't rightly believe it myself. 

I ate somewhat sensibly and since I finished off round two of the fudge last night, there was none to delve into today.  I put out the all-call on Facebook for hints on what I could eat after a meal that would satisfy my sweet/chocolate tooth.  I mentioned that it needed to be something that didn't compel me to eat it in it's entirety.  Here are some of the suggestions:  chocolate chips that I stow in the freezer and pop a couple in my mouth after a meal.  Chocolate cake, potentially made with some pumpkin.  I pride myself on being a pretty awesome and straight forward communicator.  I'm pretty sure I was clear as a bell.  I mentioned my weakness for finishing off items as they come.  I thought these were my friends.  Chocolate chips in my freezer?  A few in my mouth at a time after a meal?  As if I won't make that one bag of chips my entire meal in itself?  Or bake it into something that I force myself to eat a modicum of food that could be considered dinner so that I can get to dessert - and eat in it's entirety.  And chocolate cake?  Should I just strap it onto my thighs after I make it?  Perhaps as it crumbles it will just go ahead and resemble the cellulite that it would have become anyway.  I need something like chocolate paper.  They make rice paper.  I could have (organic, slave-free) chocolate paper that I could sit on my tongue and it would satisfy my craving but the texture and the experience would keep me from trying to devour more than one page at a time.  I have the best ideas.  You can take that one with you and see what you come up with but if it's successful, a) try to do an assortment of chocolate flavors - chocolate mint, chocolate cinnamon, etc.  and b) help a girl out and slip me a percentage.

I'm going to have to give up my computer time momentarily.  Wouldn't it be dreamy if a computer company or Apple wanted me to try a new computer?  Or an Ipad?  Glory be to me that would be fun.  And handy as I go through computers with a very certain and frightening frequency.  If some scientist wants to check into that and see if it's supposed to be a disorder or something, just send me a computer - please?  It's a true thing though.  Some people break watches - my dad has some sort of magnetic force field super power that would break all his watches.  Apparently that gene mutated with me and it's computers. 

We'll talk Christmas tomorrow night.  I will tell you all about Black Friday and how we are coming along with our quest to do three gifts for each kiddo. 

Thanks for taking the time.  Cheers, mate!